Prior to conducting a fundraising auction at the Colorado Democratic Party's Jefferson Jackson Dinner on Friday night, Colorado House Speaker Andrew Romanoff gave out mock awards he called "the Cheneys," which drew big laughs from the partisan crowd. Below, Romanoff's routine:
We neglected to present an award earlier. I don’t know how many of you saw the Oscars; I got mine.
You may not know, unless you were here last year, every year at this time, the Republican Academy for the Eradication of Arts and Sciences, honors clumsy, hopeless, emotionally negligent efforts to yield sympathy. These awards are better known by their acronym as the Cheneys. Get that?
Earlier in the week, the Cheney for best documentary was presented to the Rev. Ted Haggard for "An Inconvenient Truth."
And in the foreign language category, George W. Bush was honored for his work in English.
And tonight, the Cheney is being presented for the least supporting performance by a Republican presidential candidate.
The nominees are:
- Rudy Giuliani for "I Am Legend."
- Mike Huckabee and Sam Brownback in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry."
- And John McCain for "No Country For Old Men." That was an easy one.
- Ron Paul in "Balls Of Fury."
- And Mitt Romney in "Fool’s Gold." This is actually Gov. Romney’s second nomination. His head was nominated as well in "Hairspray."
- Fred Thompson nominated for "Shrek the Third." Which is a bit unusual. We didn’t expect to see Senator Thompson nominated for an animated role.
- And Tom Tancredo in "Super Bad."
- And, finally, this is a bit of a surprise: Dick Cheney himself nominated for "There Will Be Blood." Now I should explain. Dick Cheney was not actually a candidate for president. He nominated himself. He also was nominated for his co-starring role in "Resident Evil," and "National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets."
In the category of least supporting performance by a Republican presidential candidate, the Cheney goes to George W. Bush in "Gone Baby Gone." Unfortunately, the president is actually ineligible for this award as a presidential candidate since he has already served two terms in office. But in his defense, Mr. Bush points out that he was never actually elected in the first place.