Diary of a Mad Voter: Decline of the power lunch

I've got some troubling news: The power lunch is continuing its sad decline. Well, at least it's not as fun as it should be.

While once this midday ritual brought together leaders, sealed business deals, and launched bi-partisan compromises, today it has become a confusing mess of politically correct gender-related etiquette that has taken all the pleasure out of what should be a union of two of life's greatest joys — getting to eat and not having to work.

It all starts at the door to the restaurant. I frequently see the bewilderment on the faces of men from ten feet away. And it's understandable. After all, they must navigate a potential landmine of possible gender offenses all within a span of less than an hour.

Among the questions they must now consider: How hard should I shake a woman's hand? Is she expecting me to kiss her on the cheek? Should I offer to take her coat? Will she be offended if I get the door? Should I pull out her chair? If there is that awkward moment of silence before the waitress (sorry, I mean server) comes, should I ask her about her kids?

And then there is deciding what to order. I've noticed that men don't eat red meat at lunches anymore. It's a tragedy. Last week when I sat down to lunch with two male lunch companions, I took the initiative of ordering first (lest they be considered sexist for offering me the privilege). My selection was quick. Beef, a Diet Coke, and French fries. They both went with salads. And ordering an alcoholic beverage was not even a consideration.

I must concede that while I'm still in my twenties, I'm not quite a veteran of power lunching. I've only heard of the martini lunches of yesteryear. I guess I just always assumed that adults would allow themselves to have fun. And maybe if we all had a martini, it wouldn't be so awkward when the bill comes.

It's generally understood that the person who requests the lunch, pays. But what if you're lunching with that rare woman who thinks men should always pay? What if you both requested the lunch? Is it O.K. to ask to split the bill if she doesn't offer first?

Jessica Peck Corry is a public policy analyst with the Independence Institute in Golden, Colo.

And all these internal questions must be resolved before you consider the implications of lunching with a lobbyist. Colorado's well-intentioned but overly strict ethics laws can make even the most innocent lunch the source of a reporter's investigation. Similar prohibitions are being imposed in the culture of political power lunching at the national level.

According to a recent Washingtonian report, "Maître d's across (Washington) report more requests for separate checks in the wake of lobbying-related corruption scandals. . .one lobbyist explained over lunch at Bobby Van's Grill on New York Avenue, 'I'm not risking my career to buy a burger for some 23-year-old committee staffer.'"

Being a grownup should be fun. Somehow we've forgotten this and our stomachs are suffering as a result. Come join me in celebrating the power lunch. Turn off your cell phone and devour a steak. I won't tell. And while you're at it, light up that cigar (outdoors only, of course), enjoy your martini, and tell me about your wife and kids. Life's too short to live on pins and needles. It's certainly too short to live on lettuce alone.

When the bill comes, you can breathe a sigh of relief — I won't be offended at all if you pay. Another plus — you won't be required to report the lunch to the FEC.

Editor’s note: Jessica Peck Corry's weekly blogs are part of a feature on The Denver Post's PoliticsWest.com site called "Diary of a Mad Voter." The group blog, published in partnership with NewWest.Net/Politics, is intended to give a glimpse into the hearts and minds of several independent-minded voters and thinkers in the Rocky Mountain West in the '08 election cycle. Check back regularly at www.politicswest.com for "Diary of a Mad Voter."

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