
By RUBI NICHOLAS
Let me start by saying that I’m a Democrat. I’ve been a Dem since I was 18 years old, and registered, oh, the second day I was eligible to vote, way back in nineteen eighty-something.
I’m also a stand up comic and this is what happens when someone like me chooses to exercise her political right to caucus. I’ll admit I was curious.
I grew up in a primary state and was excited to learn about the process. Plus I like saying caucus. It’s a funny word. I don’t even know what it means, but each time I say it out loud, it makes me giggle. Go ahead, you try it…silly, right?
I know where I stand politically, I make a decent living, but I vote my social conscience because I like sleeping in peace at night knowing I didn’t vote for tax breaks to big corporate machines that keep the little people down, or for the unjust war and increasing our national debt. I'm good with whomever the Dem candidate winds up being, and just ended up a delegate because I have a big mouth and can't resist a microphone.
Here’s what happened:
On the day of the caucus, even though I didn't feel like it, mostly because I was invited by one of the moms in my 3rd grader's new school to a suburbalicious margarita and home entertaining catalog party, I went to the Democratic caucus for precinct #127, in Douglas County. I decided that if I was going to caucus, I would caucus my butt off. Might as well do it all the way. I took both of my girls (8 and 5) and valiantly attempted to educate them, pointing out that all the people standing around talking were trying to help each other decide who the best candidate for our party was...Meanwhile, the girls kept asking if there was going to be cake...they just didn’t seem to get that it wasn't that kind of party.
We strolled in right at 7p.m., just as the Chief-high-caucus-poohbah said, “Anyone here who would like to speak for a minute about their candidate is free to do so.”...Have we met? Who loves a microphone and a captive audience more than me? One lady, wearing gear a bit more formal than my Pottsville High hooded sweatshirt and mismatched sweatpant ensemble, got up with a written one-minute speech about Barack Obama...Ugh. Probably a Republican plant. You know, one of those "non-Voter participants" that are allowed to attend the Dem caucuses? Yeah, maybe I am suspicious, but you would be too - having had your liberal butt handed to you for two elections in a row following the Clinton glory years...Anywho...
The lady read, I sighed, and then he asked for someone to say a few words about Hillary. I waited and with no better reasons than a love of microphones and a strong penchant for playing devil’s advocate, off I went to the front of the makeshift hall of democracy and said, "My name is Rubi Nicholas." I didn't have anything prepared, and that's all I remember. I'm pretty sure I didn't say "and I'm an alcoholic." (Although, for effect, I might have tried that played-out line.)
I did say, "I have been a registered Democrat since my 18th birthday, and am originally from the great blue state of Pennsylvania. I want you to know that Hillary and Obama represent the Democratic party, and while feeling inspired and optimistic makes you want to vote for Obama, think it through. We need not to choose based on how we feel. We need to choose an electable candidate that can beat McCain."
Okay paraphrasing a tinge, but I did say that I grew up a minority in this country, and I have real experience with how minorities are perceived and treated. I’m not black, but in Douglas County, I’m as dark as they get apparently – the proof? My laser hair removal lady told me I was the darkest woman she worked on in Douglas County – and I’m only the color of a latte.
So, my experience with middle-America is that they are not ready to elect a minority candidate. I just had a friend tell me that Obama was a plant, groomed by the enemy to become president a la the "Manchurian Candidate." This is what people believe. That was the point I tried to make among “family”.
Sure the Dems love him. He’s preaching to the choir though. Who else but a bunch of bleeding heart liberals would come out in swarms to vote for a charismatic, glib orator promising sweeping winds of change? Grow up, people. I’m sick of losing.
Hillary is tough and ready and knows Washington. My point ultimately was that she can win; their policies are nearly identical, and personally I could care less about the nominee. My vote will go Dem. But hey, there was a microphone….
I left the makeshift pulpit to allow another participant to speak, but no one did. So that was it then: Just the Obama-speech-read-from-a-paper lady and my off-the-cuff commentary that was just short of a "Hey, I'll say something!"...
I went back to my precinct table - #127 - I had only looked up that number on the Dem web site that day...and about half of the people said, "Good job" - I believe the word "eloquent" was thrown about. It was pretty cool. Then a bearded guy leaned across the table and asked, "You wanna be our delegate? you should"...There was some hand raising and nodding, and it was done. There are 2 delegates for Hillary from my precinct, although in the whole auditorium of votes there were 190 Hillary votes and 22-something Barack votes.
I know now that anyone, really and truly anyone, can be a part of this political process… I mean if someone as wholeheartedly confused and partially committed as me can do it - that certainly explains our current leadership.
Rubi Nicholas is a first generation Muslim woman of Pakistani descent, and is the antithesis of what one might expect with such a strong ethnic background. Recently selected Nick@Nite’s “Funniest Mom in America,” Rubi's humor incorporates her ethnic heritage, her family life as a corporate woman whose husband is a stay at home dad, and the antics of her two little girls.