Public lewdness bill gets initial House OK, inspires jokes

The House today gave initial approval to a bill that would make public masturbation a crime.

No, apparently it isn't illegal already.

Prosecutors have said the measure, Senate Bill 235, is needed because current law only addresses instances where the genitals are actually exposed in public. The bill specifies that people could be prosecuted for fondling themselves through their clothing.

Some lawmakers have privately questioned the need for the bill and wondered about its application. Would rock performers start getting busted for crotch grabbing on stage? Will baseball players with an itch suddenly get more scrutiny?

Mainly, though, the bill has been the subject of jokes for weeks since its introduction. The bill's sponsor is Sen. Bob Bacon, D-Fort Collins, whose last name has been wrapped into pun after pun in the Capitol's hallways.

The House Judiciary Committee first approved the bill today before it went to the full House. Members of the committee reportedly couldn't stop cackling as they considered the measure.

Rep. Morgan Carroll, D-Aurora, offered an amendment to the bill that would have created the crime of "mental masturbation," defined as "the debate often engaged in during the legislative process."

Her amendment was, uh, junked in committee. The bill, which already has passed the Senate, must be approved by the House once more.

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